Four people, fourteen hours, one room

The first person arrived at 9am, tired, but ready to provide her service to the host. The two witnesses came later in the morning, with the second arriving just before noon.

What occurred between 9am and 11pm could be summed up as an intimate group experience complete with physical touch, care, romance, and love.

For many black women, having our hair braided is an all day production. Tackling a whole head of thick hair requires proper hydration, entertainment, and ample breaks for the braider and the recipient.

Before my departure to Canada, I hired a friend to come over and braid my hair. Knowing it would be an all-day event, I invited our two mutual friends to spend the day at my place. The braider brought fruit and my favorite snack (cheez-its), as well as some premium coffee beans from Thailand, which were gifted by one of the other friends. The second friend brought some supplementary supplies for the braider, and a boost in energy that the whole room needed. The third friend brought a massage g*n, and later drove back to their place to retrieve the tools necessary to grind the coffee beans and french-press the coffee. I made lunch for us about a third of the way through the day, and provided other refreshments to keep everyones spirits high.

Words of encouragement and cozy compliments were periodically given by all: "your slippers are so cute!" "You're a trooper." " I can do that for you" Juicy stories filled the room as the time snuck its way around us. Intermittent cuddles and the sounds of passing snacks filled the space between stretches of comfortable silence.

We spent fourteen hours of one day in that room together. We laughed together. We broke bread, and enjoyed libations. We shared vulnerable stories and had revelations of introspection. We healed. We grew.

At one point, I noticed that one of my friends had decided to wash the dishes in my sink for me. Maybe a small gesture to her, but a big one to me. Doing my dishes was something I wasn't looking forward to as I prepared my apartment for my departure. Someone taking the time to do them, lifted a weight off of my mind, knowing that there was less work for me to do come the morning.

I witnessed platonic romance in the form of verbal admiration. Friend three professing their undying love to my braider friend, and praising their unique features with a persistent passion.

It's so special to be able to experience deep intimacy in platonic environments, and I am so thankful that I got to spend such intentional time with three people I adore. I think many people are conditioned to only see the validity in intimacy if its sexually or romantically connotated. These forms of intimacy are incredibly valid, but are not the only ones that matter. Having friendships where you can engage in intimacy without shame or judgement can positively impact your mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Being able to relax, unmask, and be yourself with other people is something that I hope all people get to engage in on a regular basis.